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Book You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win


You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win

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    Available in PDF - DJVU Format | You Don't Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win.pdf | Language: ENGLISH
    Terri Apter(Author)

    Book details

A daughter often feels her mother doesn't know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding. But mothers often misinterpret their daughter's outbursts as signs of rejection, and they may pull back feeling hurt and confused. Through case studies and conversations between mothers and daughters, Apter shows mothers how to interpret the meanings behind a daughter's angry words and how to emerge from arguments with a new closeness.

You Don't Really Know Me seeks to answer the question as to what teenage girls really want from their mothers?Psychologist Terri Apter offers uncommon wisdom about the "tricky equation" between a daughter's identity and that of her mother.Challenging the idea that girls want to reject dear old mom, Apter suggests that most battles between mothers and daughters are fought to transform the relationship rather than trash it. Arguments become a daughter's way of asking two essential questions: "How can I get my mother to see me the way I am or the way I want to be?" and "How can I keep this important relationship up to date and useful to me?" By focusing on how daughters can remain attached to their mothers as they grow, each chapter underlines conflict as means for a daughter to define herself. Apter avoids generalities and targets smart specifics with examples, strategies and sample conversations. She offers an anatomy of a mother-daughter meltdown, establishes four patterns of teen lying and offers guidelines for dialogue about rules and risk assessment.She explains how to navigate food fights, discouraging words, harsh hyperbole ("you are ruining my life!") and the "I know that already" sex talk. Battle-fatigued mothers--and the daughters who want to love them without leaving them--will welcome Apter's hopeful, insightful approach. --Barbara Mackoff,

3.4 (10184)
  • Pdf

*An electronic version of a printed book that can be read on a computer or handheld device designed specifically for this purpose.

Formats for this Ebook

Required Software Any PDF Reader, Apple Preview
Supported Devices Windows PC/PocketPC, Mac OS, Linux OS, Apple iPhone/iPod Touch.
# of Devices Unlimited
Flowing Text / Pages Pages
Printable? Yes

Book details

  • PDF | 256 pages
  • Terri Apter(Author)
  • W. W. Norton & Co. (15 Mar. 2004)
  • English
  • 8
  • Health, Family & Lifestyle

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Review Text

  • By Andrew G. Maufe on 21 January 2009

    This book seems like an apology nay an excuse for bad parenting resulting in clashes between parent and daughter. Parents with huge egos will possibly find this approach to their liking. If you want to learn about good parenting read "The Heart of Parenting" by Gottman. It's an empathic approach backed up with sound scientific research.

  • By m on 30 January 2011

    This book is very well worth studying if you wish to gain more insights into your relationship with your daughter. It can change your day/life.

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